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Serving Pikes Peak Community College students |
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By Deborah Waddell
Excited about returning to school after 35 years, this mother felt that she could conquer the world.well almost. All of the sudden I was exchanging the daily deadline of
housework for homework. At first I eagerly dug into my daily reading assignments. I wanted to be ready for any of the notorious pop quizzes that my son had warned me about. And, at least in the beginning,I proudly turned in my assignments on the specified due dates - never late--always on time.
Why, as a kid, was homework such a drudge? It was fun to read the chapters, write out the assignments and be reminded that there are things called addends, and subtrahend, and that digits are not just fingers. Soon I felt like I was taking a foreign language, and I hadn't even arrived at the good stuff in math.
Then there were the modifiers and the dangling participles. Dangling what? I haven't thought about the parts of speech for nearly 40 years. Help! Like drinking from a fire hose, I soon discovered that the American language had evolved. Gad Zeus.how it has changed! Words from the past no longer held the same meanings. The .isms, like ageism, stereotyping, being objective.of course I was objective.
I did, in fact; raise a very positive, well-balanced child - now an adult.
Then there is the bias. No, bias was not referring to the edge of the cloth or the way the cloth is laid on a cutting board.
I also learned that there is a derisive term for a Canadian. Wow, who would hate a Canadian? You know, those nice people that live in the northern part of our hemisphere? What could possibly be wrong with someone who likes to live in the frozen parts of the world?
I was introduced to the fact that an alien is no longer a spaceman from krypton but are now illegal immigrants. Geez, it seemed to me that unless you are aboriginal or native to the North American continent, our ancestors were all illegal immigrants at one time or another.
Oh, yes, just when a barracuda used to be a fish, it's something else now. If you use it in context with a woman's name, it's something else entirely -- something like a piranha or is that pariah? Oh dear, I really must get a new dictionary.
I soon learned that a married woman no longer has a maiden name, she has a "given" or "birth" name. A blonde is not a woman, but a man yet a blonde is a woman while a brunet is a man but a brunette is still a woman. I wonder if the same thing goes for a redhead or is that red head?
Forget it. I'm not even going to mention blackhead as that used to be a pimple; the dreaded face blemish when I last went to school.
What ever happened to old wives tales? Be careful, now that may be sexism or some sort of ism. Now it's gone the way of superstition or is it a tale of wisdom?
I was not born a madam, however, there are no longer any maiden names, only birth names. I miss being a Miss. I am no longer a madam but a Ms. - whatever that is. Fortunately I do have a birth number but it is no longer (factious date) January 9, 1950, rather it is )1-09-50.
So when did they begin giving newborn babies Social Security numbers? When I was a young lass, it was a right of passage to, at the age 15 or 16, obtain a Social Security number, so you could get a work permit (you had to get that because of child labor laws).
Life got so complicated and fast. I wonder what will be next.
I used to tell my son 'watch your language,' when the darn, dern, or damn slipped out. Now there is a dictionary of words you can no longer use because of .ism.because it's
not politically correct and could possibly be an insult.
So what did I learn in my return to school? Get that adjective correct today - you never know what it will mean tomorrow. (Back to top)
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